Loss of my soulmate of 52 years

[Hubby]

Losing our partners is a massive thing for us to adjust to. They are such a huge part of our lives. I don't think we ever realise how much until they are gone.

My thoughts are with you Colin.

[colin]

Hi everyone,
          Its 4months since I lost my Princess,this past few days have been awful,visited Derby with my Son and Family,walking round bought back many happy memories we shared together whilst out shopping in the Eagle Centre.When it came to leave to return home we passed the street entertainers {Inca's}they started to play The Power of Love,this was one of our special tunes we shared and played together along with Unchained Melody,whilst listenining with my Son I felt so lost and alone,once back home on my own I cried all evening,so heartbroken missing my baby so much,can't seem to get my head straight or accept that she is not here with me.Had several moments when life is not worth living anymore without her by my side.

[Julie Magson]

Oh I'm so with you there in all you experienced and are going through Colin, they do say that the grieving is so hard because our love was so strong if that's any help at all 

[colin]

Hi Julie,
      Thanks for your reply,airing ones feelings on the forum seems to help with easing the loss of a loved one,my Pat was and still is my everything and the thought of being re united with her one day keeps me going,limping through this feeling on a daily basis,we are all in the same position dealing with our own grief and heartbreak,this is punishment in it's self.When we meet our loved one again the sun will shine in our hearts once more and be forever.Thanks again for listening.

[Julie Magson]

 

[Brian71]

Colin you echo many of my own thoughts,  I too get those feelings of not wishing to carry on, as my reason for living is no longer here,  stay strong my friend, and remember....A DAY AT AT TIME,  you likely have family like I do,  and I suppose it's the thought of them that has prevented me from doing anything silly, though I've certainly considered it a few times.  As I posted to someone else,  my 2 sons think the grieving finishes at the funeral,  my eldest actually said just that...unbelievable!... little do they know, thankfully my daughter who was very close to her Mum is more understanding and knows how I feel because she is still grieving too.

A DAY AT A TIME COLIN...a day at a time...      You take care my friend... Best wishes...Brian

[Julie Magson]

Yep- same thought flits through my head too but I couldn't do that to my children and grand children at this moment in time. Again I think it's perfectly 'normal' whatever that might mean! It's amazing how many people are relieved when the funeral day is over and we can start getting on with our lives now! My  aunt said" Well just think in a few days time it will be all over and you can start to build a new life" !!!!!!!!

[Brian71]

That last line basically sums up my 2 sons Julie.  The sad fact is they don't really understand at all.   I've not spoken to my eldest son for 2mths.  His only interest in life is money.....little does he know.

Keep plodding on people,  hopefully with time the tears will get less frequent.

[colin]

Hi Brian and Julie,
                Yesterday I went to Skeggy with my Son and family walked round in a trance really,this visit bought back happy memories although Pat and I never really liked the place much we just went for the run out laughing and joking all the way there,bigger laughs on our return journey home. Memories and tears started to flood,explained how I was feeling to my Son,he said just how much he missed his Mum as well,he sat in the front passenger seat where his Mum sat and just doing this, he thought about how Pat his Mum would have felt not being with us all trying to enjoy the day,I miss my sweetheart and lover so much,had a good cry when I was back home alone,it don't get any easier at this moment in time,just cannot get over losing the battle and my darling Pat.{till we meet again baby sweet dreams}
                                                                                         Colin.

[Hubby]

I find that, like you at Skeggy, happy memories start the tears flowing. Strangely crying makes me feel better. It's a strange mixed up world where happy thoughts make me sad and being sad makes me happy.

Small steps Colin. That's all we can do at the moment.

[colin]

Hi Everyone,
              To-day we would have been celebrating our 52yrs of married life together,we had known each other for just over 55yrs,my Princess lost her fight to life nearlly 6 months ago,at this moment my life stopped and I am finding it very hard to continue without her, life is not worth living at the moment,struggle to go forwards with everyday activities. maybe this feeling is due to the day of what we should have been sharing together and celebrating our love for each other.So miss my darling more and more as the days slip bye,they seem to fly and it just don't seem real it's like being in another world of living hell.My Son is and always has been some-one who I can lean on and share my feelings with about his Mum and remember how much we love her.one day we will all be together again as a loving caring family.
                                                                                          Best wishes everyone
                                                                                                Colin. 

[Julie Magson]

I'm hoping you can find some peace and comfort on your very special day Colin. I've experienced my first Anniversary day amongst other firsts this year. It is a very surreal 'existence' isn't it. 

[colin]

Hi Julie,
   Your reply means such a lot,how we all keep going I will never know my mind is full of mixed thoughts which includes happy memories but most of all the the loss of my darling and how I could not do anything to keep her safe,we fought so hard to beat the tumours,the sad memories always push too the front of one's thoughts,a stark reminder of our loss and love we once had.What I would do just to hold her once more in my arms and tell her how much I love her and miss her every second of the day.so lost and lonely.

                                                                                            Best wishes
                                                                                                 Colin.

[Julie Magson]

Yes- it is a lost feeling isn't it? Nothing I could do to get Alan well either- I'd have given anything to be able to do that.

[Hubby]

I'm sure there have been lots of tears for you today Colin but I hope you have had a few moments with happy memories.