Thank you all for your replies.
I do not feel such a lost soul now. There were so many anniversaries around the last three weeks, and I also attended three funerals during that time, one of them on the anniversary of my husbands funeral, so I think there was a " pile up" of emotions waiting to sand bag me.
I still feel a bit fragile though but much more at peace.
This is what grieving is all about though, On the old site we used to call it a roller coaster, and there were many posts about that these. There was also a theme of heartbreak hotel, and poems were written about that.
There is a wealth of care and support on this site, and I am glad to feel I am part of it again.
Jeannette