Author Topic: Why do I feel the way I do  (Read 5960 times)

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Offline esther e

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Why do I feel the way I do
« on: December 29, 2022, 06:24:47 AM »
I feel my life has no meaning . Eight yrs that my brother's been gone and nothing has changed except the yrs going by, more time missing and longing for my brother I'll never have again. Just want to pick up the phone and call him, hear his voice again, tell him how much I love him. The last time my brother was alive, we had texted and not spoke,something that I feel regret for all these yrs, if I had spoken, I would've heard from his voice something was wrong and I could've reached out, but I failed him. That day my brother was not to come home ever again .My life has no meaning.
"If Love
Could Have
Saved you,
you would have lived
FOREVER "
Suicide Awareness

Offline Dave Administrator

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Re: Why do I feel the way I do
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2022, 02:31:33 PM »
Esther.

Sadly this board is no longer used as it was, and the only reason I leave it up is for the wealth of support that has been written here for others to see.

But I would like to answer you knowing exactly how you are feeling having experienced something a little similar.

Eight years would normally be considered to be a reasonable time for a broken heart to heal, but when guilt like you feel comes into the equation, no amount of time can always bring total peace of mind back to your day.

The only honest answer and support I can offer you right now Esther, is that for you to have loved your brother as much as it comes across to me that you did, means he was a truly wonderful person in himself, and no doubt loved you big time.

Don't keep beating yourself up over not speaking with him, that's just human nature we are all guilty of in not doing the most we ever can for them, and trust me even if you had spoken to him, NOTHING would have changed.

Yes you can't talk on the phone anymore, but what you can do is write to him telling him how much you miss and love him like you do. Will it be tough to do? oh yes through floods of tears no doubt about that one.

But I promise you Esther when the tears end and the room is silent again, from somewhere, I don't know where, you'll feel his peace and spirit
speaking within your mind, you just have to open up to hear the calming words and believe in them that your life does have meaning, and that may even be for what you can do to help others, or whatever?

Take care.

Dave.

BUK Founder June 2000



 
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.