Author Topic: How do you get over losing your Mum  (Read 230 times)

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Offline LOULOU3004

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How do you get over losing your Mum
« on: January 22, 2022, 07:47:48 PM »
Hi. I'm new to the group. My Mum died last Sunday. I looked after Mom whilst holding down a full time job. She was my absolute world. My best friend and mother. I was supposed to be with her but she died in the hospital with my brother there. She had a massive stroke. I have anger because she was supposed to die at home but my sister sent her to hospital while I was out. I live in her house and am surrounded by her but can't feel her presence. I am crying so much and the pain is unbearable. I wish I could see her and feel her and talk to her. How do people cope with this. I feel like I am dying inside.

Offline Dave Administrator

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Re: How do you get over losing your Mum
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2022, 09:33:27 AM »
Hello LouLou and welcome.

First may I say how sad I felt reading the way it happened in loosing your Mum.

Although it was back in 1991 when I lost mine, I too felt my world had come to an end, and yes pain beyond belief.

It's such very early days for you now, and you can only try to manage one day at a time with baby steps, and don't drown in thoughts of what will happen next in the future, you'll deal with that when it happens.

Also trust me Loulou every tear that has to fall is a step in healing your broken heart, so don't hold them back trying to be brave in front of others, because if they care about you they should expect nothing less knowing how much you loved mum.

Emptying out all of your emotions here will help I promise, and will fall on ears that know just what you are going through right now.

May I wish you great strength and courage at this saddest of times, and for peace of spirit to return once more in your day..
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline SarahB

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Re: How do you get over losing your Mum
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2022, 06:38:18 PM »
Hi LouLou

I lost my Mum in 2019, coming up to Christmas, and lost my Dad in September of 1999. I was 43 and 23 respectively.

I'm not going to tell you how you should feel other than to say what you describe is achingly similar to what I went through and am still going through. I could collapse every time the memories of the day both of them died comes back to me and the slightest thing such as the image of a hospital on tv, or someone having a heart attack, can trigger me.

All I can say at this moment is, that this rawness WILL pass and I PROMISE you I thought I'd never say that. I was a Daddy's girl and loved him so much but when he died even though I was 23 I didn't really understand death and took my lead from my Mum who was SO UNBELIEVABLY BRAVE and stoic. But I miss my Daddy every day.

When my Mum died, I fell to pieces. She had become my whole world. I don't have a family of my own or a partner and I wanted to die too. I lay there for days, I was like a zombie and I had no idea what I'd done to deserve losing both parents at such a young age. I am still angry at friends of mine who still have both.

Bit by bit it has become a little easier but you learn to adjust and accept. The pain doesn't go away but some days are good and some days are awful. Just go with what you feel and give yourself permission to FEEL what YOU want and NEED to.

Do little things she'd want you to do, and keep on talking to her.

I know it doesn't feel like it but this agony will pass. I promise. I never thought I'd get to where I am, I was a MESS, but I absolutely PROMISE you, having lost my best friend in my Mum and Dad - you will be ok. I promise.

And I'm here. Message me anytime. x


 

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