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Is anyone available today?

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Pep:
You have my permission. Only because you are aware and are conscious of his behaviour. Do you realise how powerful you are to know this. You are not nieve here. You know exactly what's going on. This should empower you. Make the right decisions for you and you alone.

I get what you are saying about him influencing others. But remember... being alone is not the same as being lonely. As long as you start to think that you do not need to be with people that makes you sad, you will start to feel positive. Then you can tell yourself "i told them". In your own little way.

My brother and i are different. He cannot stand living alone. He told me himself. But i sense a certain amoumt of loneliness because of our loss.

Im alone, but i am not lonely. I try to give myself hope. Have a small circle of friends (like you) with people who don't care if i dont speak to them in weeks because they respect my space. I have no drama in my life. But i'm also italian so i've just told a lie right there.
 :grin:
Pep

SarahB:
So I brought it out into the open and the conversation was not well received.

I tried to be as gentle and open and NON-blaming as I could, but when he asked me (Gay 1) how Christmas had went, I told him that I had been so so down that it was frightening and that I thought no one cared. I asked him where he had been, as I noticed he had been out a lot by his pictures on facebook, and I wondered what had happened to the plans we had had such as taking his new partner on sight seeing trips.

I wasn't defensive, I was tearful and kept my voice low.

He IMMEDIATELY went on the defensive. He's done this ANY time I've tried to have an adult conversation with him in the past. Immediate hostility, face like a rubber band, angry eyes, all the time protesting his innocence. I said (for the first time ever!) 'I find it a bit odd that you said you'd always be there for me, yet you knew I was totally alone all over the Christmas period and you didn't even once call or check in...'

He said I had hurt him and he actually said the words 'I won't take that on board'. When I tried to ask him if I could speak he said nastily (it was nasty) 'Yeah you can' but made it clear it would only be when he had finished reading me the riot act. He did the same thing, displayed the same attitude when I told him I knew he'd lied to me about a holiday he went on a few years ago, only to see the truth all over facebook. That wasn't his fault either.

One of the last things he promised my Mum was that he'd 'always be there for me' - and the opposite is true. I have the strongest feeling that he is ok as long as everyone is OK with HIM and believes him to be a good guy. I have finally gotten my eyes opened and I will NEVER confide in him again. Sadly he's just the type of guy who would insist on carrying my coffin, even though it would be down his cruelty that I felt I couldn't open up.

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