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Is anyone available today?

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SarahB:

Please? :cray:

Pep:
PM'd you

Dave Administrator:
Thanks for doing that Pep,,,I do hope you can help poor Sarah 1 to 1

But Sarah please open up here too if you feel strong enough to do so, it really does help to pour it all out and not bottle up any hurtful emotions.

SarahB:
Thank you both so much.

I will try to keep it brief.

Basically I thought I had a couple of good friends, we used to do so much together prior to Mum passing away and the usual life things like relationships and babies coming along. I love my best friends children so much and so a lot with them and for them.

My gay friends are a different story, with one pretty much not keeping in touch now and the other who I would be closest to, having to be surrounded by so many people that it is hard for him to make time for anyone. I have never met anyone who has such a need to be known by so many people.

Over Christmas, from about the 17 right through to New Year I was on my own. I bought the kids loads of gifts but my friend didn’t make time for me to go into her house, saw me arriving in the street and drove on, her and her husband just waved and I had to leave the gifts on the doorstep.

But that aside, my male friend, Mark, even though I sent a couple of messages saying how lonely and upset I was at being totally (just to emphasise) alone, didn’t respond to my cries for help and there was radio silence right up until 29 December. I saw by his social
Media that he was out almost every day and night - he’d flown his new partner in from South Africa for the holidays. I had offered to spend time showing the guy round so to see them out with all these other people was very hurtful.

I was going to keep it all to myself but the chance to talk came about yesterday while we had coffee. I said that I was very lonely and hurt - in a gentle way - that I didn’t hear from him at Christmas and thought I would have given my circumstances.

His face went the usual way it does when he asked about anything and he became defensive, angry, cold and hostile. He actually said ‘no I can’t take responsibility for that. I’m
Here for you and you didn’t reach out it works both ways’.

I tried to explain that I wasn’t blaming him but I was hurt but all he could say was I had hurt him by bringing it up. I said ‘Mark I have no family I was alone’ and he said ‘we all have our stresses’.

What was frightening was the complete lack of any empathy or sympathy from him. The coldness was terrifying and all I could do was sob.

He just keeps saying he has nothing else to add, even when I told him that I considered taking my life over the holidays. All he could say was you should have called me even when I explained that I wasn’t in a right frame of mind to do anything and thought as my friend he would have at least visited even once during what he knows is a horrible time for me.
Mum only died 2 years ago.

I feel so sick and anxious now and really don’t know what to do. I’d never hurt him but I am shocked by how defensive he became over a small conversation. He has a lot of power and influence over people even referring to himself as the Puppet Master in the past so I’m actually terrified.

Dave Administrator:
Hello Sarah.

I've read this through a couple of times now, and from an outsiders opinion looking in, you should avoid this "Puppet Master" man as he calls himself like the plague. All he seems to achieve doing for you now is cause you further upset which you certainly can do without and don't need to have to deal with on top of everything else.

Easier said than done breaking off a relationship with a so called friend, as you live in hope all will change with them given time, and you'll all be back to normal again.

Unfortunately this seldom happens Sarah, and long term you are far better finding new genuine friends who will grow to love you through seeing the goodness in your heart you have to offer them.

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