Re: LEEDS DAY OUT ANYONE?

[Brian71]

Thank you for your posts,   I wish you all lived closer to me, so we could get out and enjoy the occasional meal out together,  though I don't mind travelling so who knows.  Future meetups....perhaps.

I'm still getting bad days, no doubt about that,  but we have to try and make new friends, of that I am sure,  I just need to practice what I preach...lol.  There was a Friday morning 10 pin bowling session this morning but I didn't feel like going.  However I will go along to their weekly pub meetup on Tuesday evenings, and hopefully get to know them a little better, as I suspect it will take a few visits just to meet them all and remember their names.

One of the problems of course is that it's a general socialising group, so many are simply single or divorced,   though there are some who are bereaved I have just not met many of them yet.
I'm going along to a bereavement group tomorrow who meet once a month at a large garden centre cafe in Hereford.  I have been twice previously but missed the last one, so I'm looking forwards to that.
It's organised by St. Michaels Hospice in Hereford, and meet every 3rd Saturday from 11am till 12.30 at the Ryevale Garden Centre, in case anyone in Herefordshire ever joins the forum and read this.

Karena,  I hope whatever you decide goes well,  you have to do what you feel is right for you. 
I know if I had passed away first, my wife Ann would have likely sold everything and moved in with our daughter Jo down in Liskeard,  Cornwall or bought a place close to her, unfortunately my wife Ann did not drive.   My wife and daughter were very close indeed, and Jo has been there for me 100% since Ann passed away, which is more than I can say for my 2 sons.   She used to speak to her Mum on the phone every day, and she still does that with me.  She and the 2 girls are coming up next weekend to stay with me during the school break for a few days..   

[Hubby]

Your getting out and about a lot more than me Brian. I try but I just don't seem have time. Even when I do isometimes put things off because I don't fel like doing them like you did with the bowling. I guess things still depend on whether our emotions are playing up or not and its going to be like that for some time.

Having your daughter and the 2 girls around should keep you busy. Perhaps even enough to keep away those bad days while they are around.

Take care.

[Brian71]

Yes...Jo and the girls come up on Saturday morning Hubby so that will keep me occupied for a few days,  we tend to go out in my car leaving hers on the driveway,  to different places each day.   She's mentioned going to the Black Country Museum and Stratford upon Avon, and Gloucester Docks this time.  There's a lot of beautiful places of interest in Herefordshire and Gloucestershire, and she doesn't know this part of the country well herself,  so Jo finds it enjoyable too,  hopefully it will tire the girls out a little so they settle down in the evening a bit, as they can be rather exhausting and trying at times...lol
One needs a lot of patience with them,  and I seem to have lost some of mine as I've got older..    

I registered on that Dating site Plenty of Fish yesterday,  but deleted my account 24hrs later,   I did pass my phone number to a nice lady who has lost her husband to cancer,  she's 70,  and doesn't drive,   she's really very nice and seems genuine and sincere.  I've never used one of those sites in my life before.   I deleted my account because the whole website is wide open, basically in the public domain,  and has a consequence, everything that gets posted on there ends up being harvested continually by search engines,  and because people tend to post a lot of personal information on there,  they get targeted heavily by the many scavenger search engines out there, and as a result anything you post, including any personal pictures etc. it all gets recorded and basically remains online forever.   It's a bit like this one a little where you don't even need to register to browse the site,  but obviously there's much more personal information shared in people's profiles on dating sites....so not really for me...lol    I like to talk to people, not share my whole life online (at least not in the public domain)....saying that, is that not what I'm doing on here...lol....yes...but to a much lesser extent...lol

It would be nice however,  to develop a friendship with a lady in a similar position, and I emphasis the friendship as I'm not looking for a relationship, well certainly not at the moment or likely ever.   I have a lot of meals out and like day trips out to different places, all over the UK,  and holidays of course of which I have lots.   I suppose it's the companionship I'm seeking, and she would enjoy it too I'm sure, as that's what I am really missing since Ann passed away.
That lady I mentioned lives in the adjacent county of Gloucestershire so not too far away,  her sister passed away at the weekend so not  a good time for her at the moment,   but I hope she  does make that phone call.... I don't feel it's a betrayal to my dear Ann, and AIS I'm only looking for Companionship, not a relationship.  The loneliness is probably the worst part of bereavement,   the grieving never ever leaves you I don't think, it just becomes manageable as time passes.

In the mean time Hubby, as it's Tuesday,  I shall head over to a pub,  just outside Worcester for that Friends Group meeting tonight at 8.30,  grabbing a Carvery at my favourite pub on the way about 6pm,  only my 2nd meet-up so no doubt I shall be struggling again to recall all of their names and have to ask many of them again I'm sure.   Anyway it gets me out of the bungalow for a few hours, and as I'm driving it's going to be Diet Coke all night again..lol

You take care my friend.

[Karena]

Brian maybe a dating site is the wrong place there may be specifically friendship sites out there or forums with people of a common interest,you mentioned cars for example,some of these forums do have meet ups.
my campervan one for example we were on together and made friends through meets.,There are three of us now widowed who do things separate sometimes that we fancy trying or go off and walk together.two women one man.and a couple others who are be couples or young er singles who also introduce new ideas to try out.This weekend for example I am going to a steampunk fair with two friends originally from that forum.

Personally even if I was looking for a date in the dating sense which I,m not,( and as you say neither are you,)I wouldn't go near a dating site, they're predator heaven and grief with the accompanying loneliness can cloud better judgement.

[Brian71]

I think I'm inclined to agree karena,   though from what I've heard it's the ladies that seem to get bombarded with loads of silly sexual abuse comments from stupid guys mostly,   though maybe there are female predators too...lol.... there probably is.

I've been to a Friends of Worcester social meeting this evening and it was most enjoyable,   I also bought a ticket tonight for a meeting tomorrow night with includes a 3 course meal, at a restaurant/pub a few miles away,  I'm told there will be around 20 members there.   I must admit they are a very nice friendly bunch of people,  though I probably need to dress more casually, as I am very much a suit and tie person especially now it's getting cooler.   Casual to me is a blazer still with a tie...lol. 
As for jeans I have never worn a pair in my life,  hard to believe but true...they were the cheapest clothes you could buy when I was a kid....how times have change,   now you even pay extra for the big holes in the knee's....lol... unbelievable.

Talking of cars Karena... my new car hopefully will be arriving sometime next month, as I notice on the VW site they have started building it...probably finished now as that was a few days ago.  Have had a few BMW's in past, but bought a VW Tiguan 4wd DSG auto last time,  we used to get snowed in badly here,  but you guessed it,  I've not seen a snowflake since buying it,   lost 14.5k on it in almost 3yrs,  (3yrs old end of November)...I know I'm stupid before you say,  but always been a sucker for new cars...lol
I've gone for a VW Golf R-line with all the toys this time  in Pure White (1st white car),  it's actually a very fast car,  petrol with twin turbo's, so something a little sportier..lol .it's also about 18mm lower than the standard Golfs.   Hope my back doesn't play up getting in...lol.   I would have gone for another BMW 330i again,  but their totally sh*te in snow,  this Tiguan is my first VW, and I must admit it's been 100% trouble free from new, and built pretty well too.
One things for sure, you can guarantee now the 4x4 is going we will have the worst ever snow this year.

[Norma]

So glad youre enjoying the group youve joibed, it sounds amazing, anything that gets us out is a goid thing, meeting new people svthe best therapy yet, hope it girs well for you x
 

[Brian71]

Thank you Norma,   well this is me trying,  in effect a little therapy, and I did have a good time last night, albeit temporary until I returned back to a empty home again of course.

I did quite a bit of laughing last night, and it's great meeting different people,  being a newish member, (2nd visit)  I had people coming over to introduce themselves and have a chat, though it's going to take a little time to actually get to know all of them if indeed I ever will as there's a total of 105 altogether,  though it's usually around 30ish that attend those evening weekly pub meetups.   Also as well, when the group around my table began to disperse or go home,  people on other tables would shout 'Brian come over and join us'  which is really nice.    They are genuinely friendly people.  They are planning a trip to Tunisia for sometime in the new year, with other weekends away too, so may go on those.    I notice on the monthly program a group are off to Butlins for a weekend  on 11th November for the Weston Super Mare Gala...whatever that is...lol..ie. Friday returning Sunday evening by coach.

I can be a little cheeky and forwards sometimes, for my age anyway, and I do have a wicked sense of humour sometimes but that's no bad thing.  It's ironic Norma because as a child and through my school years I suffered from the most severe stammer you can imagine.  I would even avoid going on buses because when paying the conductor I could never get it out, (ask the fare..that it....what else did you think I meant...lol) it really was very bad.   I can empathise with people who stutter when speaking as having a bad stammer can be socially terrible,   thankfully I managed to grow out of mine with time,  but unfortunately some people never do,  but I've never forgotten what it was like back then.

However, the Army helped build my confidence, and of course working in pubs for years repairing Fruit machines and juke boxes etc that also helped a lot,  as you have to learn to give as good as you get as the saying goes.  Also later meeting and dealing with business people also helped.   So I've gone from being very shy and extremely nervous to someone quite confident, and of course that stammer disappeared years ago thankfully......now you can't shut me up...

[Norma]

Ooops just read my last message it was a bit haphazard lol, so glad you understood it, after talking to you a couple of times and meeting you in Leeds i refuse  to coment on your last six words x

 

[Brian71]

lol however I was fully expecting that comment Norma 

[Julie Magson]

Poor Norma- I think she's been on the bottle a bit early today! 

[Karena]

Its times like this confidence and the ability to talk easily to others is a useful talent Brian.

Norma doesn't drink Julie.

[Julie Magson]

Hmmmmm- she does now!

[Karena]

 

[Norma]

I really need to change peoples opinions of me, i havent got a clue where me  drinking came from in the first place  hic hic

Just because im nearly old doesnt mean you can all pick on me     

 

 

[Julie Magson]