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Losing My Parents

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Confetti:
Hello everybody,
I lost both of my parents in 2020. My dad died at the age of 52 in January and my mum at the age of 48 in November.
I am 26 years old and am now the guardian of my two teenage brothers.
Both deaths were unexpected and sudden so I think I’ve spent the last two years in a constant state of shock but it’s starting to wear off. I have a constant heaviness with every move I make — or even if I’m not moving. It feels like there is a physical hole in my body where somebody has taken something from me.
I’ve completely lost myself. I feel like my life is spiralling out of control and it’s too late to stop it. When I envision how I feel, it’s like I’m trying to grab hold of something but I can’t quite get my hands on it.
Does anybody have any advice on how to start feeling like myself and getting my life in order again?

Dave Administrator:
Hi Confetti and welcome.

This post made me very sad to read and my heart truly goes out to you for all your tragic losses.

This forum suffered from an unexplained closure for weeks until I sussed what had caused it, but sadly all the members thinking it was permanent left here.

So to get the support you really need please join my award winning Facebook group so I can be sure you get all the help in the world from the nicest caring people you could wish for at this very sad time for you.

Dave forum owner.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1566851883557388/

SarahB:
Hi there

It's really nice (sorry it's under the circumstances) to see a new post.

I'm in the same position and have lost both my parents too. My Dad was 52 and my Mum was 69. I lost them in 1999 and  2019 respectively.  I feel alone in the world and have little to no support. I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through.

The only advice that I can give is that you take it step by step.  To have lost both in such a short period of time will have taken such a toll on your system that you cannot and should not be expected to feel normal. You do what you can at your own pace and no one else's. If you're too exhausted to do anything you don't have to and I will give you the advice I was given at the time - you must must must be kind to yourself. If that means sitting on the couch eating chocolate do it, if it means walking in the sun with your dog, do it - do whatever feels right for you.

I'd really love to know where everyone on the forum went, but I'm here. If you'd like to message me about any of your feelings please do, I'm here for you. I can promise you that every emotion you are feeling now is normal for you. Please just keep talking and know you aren't alone.

Much love to you

Sarah

Dave Administrator:

--- Quote from: SarahB on January 05, 2022, 12:26:26 AM ---I'd really love to know where everyone on the forum went, but I'm here. If you'd like to message me about any of your feelings please do, I'm here for you. I can promise you that every emotion you are feeling now is normal for you. Please just keep talking and know you aren't alone.

Much love to you

Sarah

--- End quote ---

What a lovely reply Sarah, thank you so much for taking the time to support Confetti........and yes I wish too I knew where everyone went,,how sad after 21 years of great success supporting grieving people for this to happen.

Pep:
Hiya Confetti

I joined this forum 18 months ago as i was going through a rough time. I was experiencing delayed grieving after losing my dad and sisters from cancer between the ages of 10 and 24. Im 42 now. Then in june last year lost my mother, again to cancer.

I know right!

This forum has helped me very much. Just by posting random thoughts and feelings will help you get things off your mind. Not forgotten, but a release. You can express yourself and you wont be judged. Even if you get no replies, be assured there are people reading who understand that are going through the same pain.

Although you and your younger brothers are traumatised by losing your parents, you will all be grieving differently because you all have different memories and experiences so just be conscious of that.

For me, even trying to open up to my brother was difficult although we have lost the same. So i found myself a counsellor and she has helped me more than i could ever imagine.

So you have come to the right place for grief support. We are all very friendly here :grin:

Stay Strong. Please keep posting.

Pep

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