Author Topic: Devastated I lost two family members in 6 months  (Read 358 times)

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Offline Quest78

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Devastated I lost two family members in 6 months
« on: August 29, 2021, 10:39:44 PM »
I lost my cousin aug 2020 and my mum march 2021

I am still in shock about losing my mum part of me still thinks it cant be true

I keep cycling to the houses she used to live like i'm looking for her and thinking id bump into her

The pain is horrible - Ive not experienced anything like it

Offline Dave Administrator

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Re: Devastated I lost two family members in 6 months
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2021, 11:50:54 PM »
Hello and welcome Quest78

Indeed loosing a mum the pain can seem unbearable at times and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Shock and disbelief are the body's way of dealing with a bereavement, and it's best to just take baby steps into not pushing yourself into doing things you think you should be doing.

Just give yourself time to heal taking one day at a time, and I promise you sincerely the pain will ease, and the floods of tears that have to fall will be less frequent.

Do take care Dave.
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Devastated I lost two family members in 6 months
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2021, 11:04:36 AM »
Hello and welcome to this website. I am so sorry to hear of your recent losses. It is hard enough to lose your mum without losing your cousin so shortly before. I lost my mum in 2017 and it seems like yesterday still to me, but I have found a way forward and although I miss her and my dad every day, I am slowly building a new life for myself in my new normal. The first six months after losing my mum were horrendous and I despaired. I started making an effort to try to recover and move forward after that, but didn't really notice much difference until two years after I lost my mum. It is never over, because once you are a grieving person, some part of you will be a grieving person for the rest of your life, because grief and loss change you and change your world and you can never change either back. Eventually, you will accept that this is your new normal, but slowly you have to try to build a new life for yourself in this new normal for you and as you do, it does slowly get easier. The bad days become fewer and the good days get a little easier, but you have to make an effort to make that happen. There is no going back, but your memories are your treasure and will be your strength going forward and your mum and your cousin will be in your heart and you will carry them with you always, because that is what grief is; just another side of love. One day at a time, tiny steps forward and your way will become clearer. It was a help to me to imagine and remember that my mum would have wanted the best for me and would have wanted me to go on with my life and make it the best I could, so that is what I try to do for her and I take her forward with me in my heart. I hope this helps and wish you well.  :hug: :hearts:


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