Breaking Heart

[m0uSeyP]

  it's been 2 months since i lost a family member and i'm heartbroken.
The family is split down the middle because of it.
I learned about it from a stranger, telling me the reason i wasn't able to contact them.
The pain is so raw, i have no information, and i have no closure.
I can't believe it's happened.
I just want to scream.
 
I want someone to tell me it hasn't really happened.
I can't move on

[esther e]

Dear mOuSeyP,
So So sorry for your loss. It's only been 2 months for you.
Certainly not a time to move on. It's been 7 yrs now that I've lost my brother, my only sibling and time has not changed anything nor is there closure. Closure meaning how. And may never be. I can truly understand what you mean by saying "did this really happen", I question myself all the time. Glad you found this group like I did, but for an a sad reason. (((Hugs to you friend)))

[Sandra61]

Hello, so sorry for your recent loss and for the pain you are feeling as a result of this. Loss can cause schisms in families and that is like a separate loss that you also grieve for. It does help to know what happened to the person you have lost, but it is not always possible to find out and if you were not there, you can never really know. In the end, it makes no difference though. Much as it seems to matter now, if you did know, would that really help very much? The loss would still be there. Better to focus on the good memories you have of your lost loved one and the good times you spent together. Dying is such a brief moment in a lifetime and the lifetime of great things they did and times they had are ultimately what mattered the most. That's what matters the most for all of us. Acceptance of the loss will help you and that only comes gradually. Try to remember that the person you have lost would want the best for you and that the memory of them is yours forever. Look for little things to take pleasure from each day, be it taking a walk in the park, seeing the sunshine or a looking at flowers or anything that still gives you pleasure. Grief is a long road that can't be rushed and you have to make an effort to find your way forward along that road, so do whatever helps you to do that. It does slowly get easier. Grief never leaves you entirely and it changes you, so you are  never really the same person you were before it happened again, but you learn to live with it and it affects you less badly over time, so give yourself time and look for the things that help you and you will find a way forward. Wishing you well.