Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all keeping as well as you can be.
I am reaching out as since the loss of my Grandma who has always been my Mum to me, my whole world has caved in. Internally anyway. For the most part I seem like I am coping 'so well'.
But it triggered a huge amount of change for me or a journey at least of many things, from the grief that consumes you and you just cant let it go through to making changes in my own life such as quitting alcohol and going alcohol free and realising and digging deep on past hurts. It has hit me like an avalanche but I wasn't expecting it to pour over and influence my whole life and very being.
One thing I have struggled with so very much is feeling as though life is so very pointless. As though, we all live day to day doing what we do, but it amounts to nothing in the end. That scares me and its a horrible place to be.
I guess I just want to hear that this is part of grief - that this isn't how I feel forever now that she is gone and now that I don't drink and can see life through sober eyes
I have never lost anyone before her and she was my world so I know it might be normal to feel this way but I cant help worry its just me now. And I don't want to feel like life is meaningless.
I am attending therapy as well to work on things but I wanted to reach out on here too - to see if anyone can relate to this whole questioning meaning and purpose and really digging down on what its all even about.
Thank you