I think that's a good move, Rod. Talking really does help and so does writing about those last times; about what happened, how you felt, the things you wish you had done or said and how you feel now. Somehow the act of writing the words does lighten the load, so if you want to, do that here, or write something at home. It is a way of unburdening that really helped me. So while you are trying to find a counselor, perhaps you could try that.
It helped me too, to revisit places I had been to with my lost loved ones. It helped bring back memories of better times that I had forgotten. I recall one trip where I could see my dad in my mind's eye in a particular spot on a particular day. I hadn't thought about that day in almost forty years and it made me smile, so I have found going to other places where we went together helpful too since. Reawakening the good memories does, I think, help lift the depression, but sometimes, you need a bit of help to bring them to the fore.
Wishing you well. X