Hello, I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a hug.
I understand the huge shock and terrible sense of loss that you must be going through and why you feel as you do at present. It is almost impossible to see a way forward this early after any loss and crying all the time is a normal state to find yourself in. Loss always impacts on your life in a massive way. It changes your entire life, but it also changes you too and you are never the same again, so it means a massive upheaval in your life and leaves you with changes to get used to that seem like insurmountable mountains. The only way to endure it is not to look too far ahead in terms of recovering from it. Just get through one day at a time and if crying helps, that's fine. Be gentle with yourself.
You are right. Unless you have been through a loss yourself, you don't understand and others will make inappropriate comments as a result of this. In your case, having spent most of your life with your husband, trying to adapt to being without him now must be especially hard and I don't think others will understand or even if they do have some inkling, probably won't have the words to be able to say what could help in any case. There are probably no words that can. That's why we end up here, because we are seeking others who do at least have some idea what we are going through - and we do. You are not alone here and lots of other people will understand how you are feeling. For me, it helped just to know that.
I have to say, from reading your post, although you don't feel like it now, I'm sure, you do sound like a strong and sensible woman, and I am sure some of that must be the result of the years you spent with your husband. Perhaps that is part of his legacy to you. You are clearly doing your best to live from day to day, which is all that you can do at this stage or any stage of life really and can see the positives you do have in your life. That's a great place to start. You have a dog too and that must be a great comfort, as pets always are. It may be hard to see any future now and I am sure it is not the kind of life you would have wanted. Who wants to be without those they love best? But you do have a future and it will be whatever you make it and in my experience, that's something you have to work at, to make it work for you.
Loss and grief are a huge shock to have to go through and the hardest things you will ever have to go through for most people. It takes a long time recover from and in a way, we do not ever recover really; we just learn to live with our new normality. Grief becomes a part of you, but the pain dulls and recedes over time, even though it may come to the fore again at times, when something suddenly reminds you, but better days still emerge. Many here describe it as a roller-coaster ride with highs and lows that you hit you when you least expect them. But your strength and your treasure are the memories your lovely husband left you with and will be your strength moving forward from this.
The first year without the person you have lost is the hardest with all the firsts you have to face on your own, but slowly, you find there are better days as well as the ones that are not so good. As you have probably already discovered, there is a little light to be found in simple things like a walk in the park or the countryside, seeing a flower, smelling its scent or sitting in a garden. I found it helped to write down how I felt during the last weeks of my lost loved one's life and started writing a diary then to record how I felt each day. It somehow helped me get those feelings out a bit and did make me feel better. Some people do that in the form of a letter to the person they have lost and find that helps, allowing them to say all the things they would have liked to say to them when they were still here. Perhaps that might help you.
I am sure your husband would want the best for you for the rest of your life and now that he isn't here to help create that for you, it's up to you to do that on his behalf. I am sure he is with you in spirit and I suppose that is how I have ended up feeling about loss. The people we love may not be here in person anymore, but they never really leave us. Love makes that too hard. They remain in our hearts and we have our memories of them and those are always with us to give us strength. In my experience, they even make their presence felt at times by leaving feathers for me when I have had a difficult time or have a problem of some kind. I do feel they watch over me and I believe that. Love is a two-way thing and I doubt they find it easy to leave us, just as we find it hard to be without them.
You have a future, but you have to build it and you will do that slowly, but you will not be alone and will carry him with you always, the love you shared and the memory of the time you had together supporting you as you find your way forward. There is little anyone can say that helps after such a close loss, but I hope there is something here that might help you little and, if nothing else, that it might help to know someone else at least understands something of what you are going through. You are not alone in that.
We are here for you to talk to for as long as you need us. Sending strength and an understanding hug.