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Being driven round the twist by an earworm.

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longedge:
I have Spotify running most of the day and I've got, probably a couple of hundred songs on my main playlist but just lately for some I reason I don't understand, most of the time I have 1 track playing on repeat. I don't think I had ever heard it until a couple of weeks ago and now I hear it in my head even when it's not playing  :rolleyes:
(The Kinks - Don't forget to dance).

Does anybody else have a similar problem?

Since I lost Chris, I listen to the words a lot more and it surprises how often they stir my memories or sometimes just my emotions. This one for instance keeps reminding me of the years that she spent trying (unsuccesfully  :smiley: ) to get me to dance.

Jill:
Hi George,  I hope the song is reminding you of the good times you had with Chris.  I only listen to French radio but after my husband died they kept playing one of his favourite records Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence.  I would switch the radio on and on it would come.  But lately I never hear that song, it was just for a week or two, it certainly got my attention.  At the moment, the one that resonates is 'Courage don't you dare fail me now'.  When my husband died I felt like a light had gone out in my life forever.

longedge:
Hi Jill, I suppose the answer is that the memories are bitter sweet. She tried so hard but as ever I was stubborn and I can't go back to put it right, but it makes me smile to think about how we argued about it.

As I said, I listen to the lyrics now just as much if not more than the melody and it surprises me how virtually every song has something in it that feels apposite e.g. in the one you mention, "I would be lying if I said: "I'm fine" I think of you at least a hundred times"  :smiley:

Jill:
Yes George, I know what you mean about bittersweet memories and the number of times I think 'if I only had that time again, I would do better'.  I think we all feel like that sometimes.  Someone in a video recently said 'let's get this party started' and the tears started flowing because that was a little joke between us.  He would rub his hands together and say 'Let's get this party started' and it would always make me laugh.  I know I am stating the obvious here but I miss my husband so much.  And I realise so many people have been through this before us but it doesn't make it any easier.  Courage don't you dare fail me now.

Karena:
The one that really crippled me was Ellie gouldings "how long will i love as long as stars are above you longer if i can"
From the first moment i heard it, it stuck in my mind - longer if i can - because it is longer and i do -

But without knowing  my thoughts on the song my daughter chose it for her walk down the aisle song - and not the original version but a recording of one of my grandsons singing it.
So there i am stood in the church tears pouring down my face just feeling the empty space where he should have been standing next to me.     
But i wonder if maybe it being a "problem" is actually the case -because sometimes we become lost for words to explain even too ourselves how we feel - but hear them expressed for us -ok so they were not written for us personally and they were not writtten about us personally but we take our own meaning from them.

Also even when they make us cry they also evoke memorys of the time before they were ill and the time before they lost their lives, and sometimes in our darkest moments we need to focus on those, and it is those every day moments - the conversations the private jokes between us that were about our relationships -not necessarilly the big stuff, the events,  but the intimacy of those conversations which is what really made it so special.

Thirdly i am not convinced they are not some kind of message ( i know it may sound weird but if there is some kind of afterlife and there are many ways people believe are found to communicate, then why not through music  - not all of them, but the odd one, the ones that turn into earworms -are they there for a reason ? -  because for example dont forget to dance has got your attention not just because of the dancing thing between you so as a message it might not literally be dancing but what dancing represents generally - which is enjoyment.
When i read your post my mind went straight to I hope you dance by lee Ann wormack
"I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance"

I have never taken that as literally dance but embrace life despite the worst it throws at you.

So i guess what i,m trying to say is maybe the message comes from our loved ones, or maybe not maybe its from our own soul -something buried in our consciousness and it takes the lyrics of a song to unleash that idea into our conscious thought but i dont think however a message gets there or where it comes from that its a bad thing.

Even though that moment at the wedding was so painful and that empty space was there at one point it felt as though he moved into it yet no one physically moved into it, but it felt just for a few seconds as though some-one did and it felt like it was him. Its something i have also felt a few times in Wales standing on the harbour wall - a moment when everything freeze frames i dont move i dont turn to look i dont want to even breathe knowing its quickly will end but feeling if i do it will end faster - yet i also treasure when it happens.

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