'Aint that the truth Brian. Getting on for three and a half years for me and in some ways I've found that the emptiness has got worse. For quite a long time now I've felt how much I relied on Chris to tell me what I thought. Sounds ridiculous but she was always able to guide me to the right way
(hers) when so often my habit of just blurting out my first thoughts showed that I hadn't considered the issue, whatever it was for the moment, carefully enough. It wasn't always verbal though, a lot of the time we could have a conversation just by body language, looks and simply being in the same room.
Even though in the early days I was very careful about notifying every possible contact I did get a number of upsetting messages but I found that a strongly worded response always brought a quick apology which I accepted. I think the one that got to me most was an email from the bank addressed to Chris to say that as she hadn't made use of her online banking facility for a very long time, it had been withdrawn. My reply was pretty choice
and I got a very sincere apology - the additional £50 credit didn't cut much ice with me but I didn't refuse it
.
You're right about unexpected triggers, the weirdest, insignificant things sometimes and in odd places. One of the recurring things I have is just as I'm waking up, I hear Chris call my name. It always surprises me how deeply imprinted her voice is in my memory.
I'm hoping that the lengthening days and coming spring will help us all even if just a little bit.