Hi Julia and Lyn too,
Well, I'm in the same boat with you. I lost my lovely mum in October 2017 and it's been a very rocky road for me since then. At first it was worse, not just because of the shock of her not being here anymore and having to find a way to move into a future without her in it, but because of all the official stuff that you have to end up dealing with at the same time. A bit over a month ago, I really thought I was starting to turn a corner and was feeling a bit more upbeat and thought I was starting to manage better on my own now, but this week, I had a nasty experience at work and bang - there it was again, that sudden awareness of being alone and being unable to just have a chat with mum about it that, when she was around, would have made me feel better.
So I think you can be lulled into a false sense of thinking you are better than you are when you are busily getting on with everyday life, but it just takes one difficult thing to happen to you to bring it home to you just how broken and unhealed and still vulnerable you still are underneath it all. I think the necessity to get on with everyday life got in the way of me being able to spend time coming to terms with my loss in the first year, so maybe that's how it is for you Julia. It takes it's toll on your time looking after a young family and having to put them first, so perhaps rather than having dealt with it, you just prioritised family life because you must and put your own feelings on the back burner, but at some point they have to resurface and you are forced to admit, as I did this week, that maybe you aren't quite as OK as you thought after all.
That's OK though, there is no time limit on love,so how can there be on missing someone. You can't ever fill the void left by losing anyone, least of all your mum, so I think we all just have to accept that there will be times when we will feel the loss more keenly than at others and you will get through it, because life goes on and there are other things and other people to worry about, but it isn't wrong to spend a while mourning the loss of a loved one. We are only human and can't help that, nor should we. Taking some time to think and explore how you feel about it is healthy I think. You can't always be putting other people first and it won't help them if you are buckling under the strain, so take some time and look after you too, not just all those around you.
Sorry, rambling abit here, but I understand how you feel. I hope this helps you somehow. Sending hugs to you both.