Hello Mags,
So sorry for your loss. It is hard enough to lose one loved one, never mind two. Can't imagine how terrible this must be for you. All we can do is look on youself as the repository of all the special memories that pay tribute to their lives, so you need to take care of yourself, for, much as you might not want to go on, you can be sure that they still love you enough to want you to go on with your life and carry them in your heart with you, as I know you will for the rest of your days. A year on from losing my mum and 33 years on from losing my dad, I know it will always be hard to bear, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other and know your lost loved ones are still worrying about you too, so use that as your strength and live to honour their memory. Some days will be better than others, so be kind to yourself and be patient. we are all here to talk to, if you need us.
Big hugs...