Four days

[Joann]

 

[Emz2014]

  xx

[Spaicer]

Slow small steps is the only way forward  hope you have a better day tomorrow

[marvil296]

Hi I have had a terrible time the last couple of days.As I've said before I'm new to the internet.I thought I was getting a free sample of cream and to pay for post and packaging on the two samples.I got my two samples in  they were poor quality put them in the bin.Thought that was it.I've not been checking my bank account much as I had other worries to deal with after my husband died.I checked my telephone banking yesterday to discover that four separate payments had been took out my account from two companies I didn't know.I phned bank to stop any more money coming out.They took £339.00 out my account. I phoned this company up demanded .my money told them I was taking legal action and reporting them to trading standards.They said they will pay it back to me.Just have to wait and see.Bank is helping me try get it back.So I want be ordering anything of the internet again .They say if it looks like a bargain deal.,avoid it it will be a scam.Lesson learned.I have been so upset though as I don't have a lot of savings left.sorry if this isn't the right place to post this but I had to tell someone feel so stupid I didn't tell my family .kind regards marvil.

[Hubby]

Thanks for replies.

As if things aren't bad enough for us without scammers lurking around every corner.

I felt really calm last night. So calm I decided trying to sleep without a sleeping pill. That was a mistake. At two o clock I gave in and took the tablet but didn't go to sleep at all. I just lay there on the edge of sleep till eleven. Since then I have been staggering around the house upset like some kind of weeping zombie.

I need to sort out my sleeping and eating.

[Karena]

 :hug:i dont think they work if your mind is overactive and the trouble is by 2am it is active getting distressed about the fact you arnt asleep and screaming at you to take the pill it craves.Try again for a gradual weanimg off rather than just not take it -can you cut it in half -coupled with a bedtime routine -bath -/hotmilky drink / herbal tea -a sleep spray on the bedding,but if they dont work, get up go to the loo read your book. I find i am much more likely to drop off doing that than i am when i,m lying there worried about the fact i,m not asleep.

Eating you will sort in the end, i think for a long time its the will to eat or bother cooking rather than the ability to do it that is lacking. You will find you can do a lot more than you think -start with simple stuff read the instructions on every packet, buy yourself a basic cookery book -maybe your daughter and you can do it together,then you can laugh together at the things that go wrong and enjoy the things that dont -none of us were born knowing how to cook. Did margaret have a favourite recipe book when my friend died her hubby was determined to perfect her hotpot which she always shared at camping meets as a tribute too her.

[Hubby]

Been a really bad day. I was really really upset earlier. We're talking wailing here.

I had a doctors appointment so I went and broke down in front of him. He's given me different sleeping pills for this week and signed me off workforc a month.

I am so tired now. My daughter has taken he dog for his walk. I'm just waiting for bedtime

[Karena]

 :hug:grief itself is exhausting the lack of sleep doesn't make it any easier.hope you have a better night tonight.

[Hubby]

Today I am having an antisocial day.

I actually got some sleep last night but didn't drop off till 6am. I was supposed to be going to the zoo with my youngest daughter and family at 10 but was far too tired and told them to go without me. Then I stayed in bed ignoring the phone. I'm still in bed now.

My daughter went to the zoo then came in trying to make me get up but I'm not. My eldest daughter is threatening to come home from her holiday.

I just want to be alone.

[Karena]

 :hug:they're bound to be worried about you they just lost their mum part of grief is a sometimes irrational but very real fear of losing someone else ,so not surprising they are worried.
why not speak too them and explain that sometimes you just want to be on your own not because you don't love them or appreciate their company just that you need some space sometimes.

[longedge]

I still don't have a regular sleep pattern and sleep where and when I feel the need and get up when I want to or in some cases when I have to. I reckon that eventually I'll settle down but I'm several months ahead of you Hubby and nowhere near OK yet. I explained to my daughters early on that sometimes, the only wat I felt at ease was at home and on my own. They accepted it.

At one of my support group meetings, I remember saying that I could tell things had improved a little because the previous week, instead of rushing back and shutting myself in the house, I had driven home the long/pretty way and stopped for an ice cream on the way  .

[Hubby]

Thanks for the replies.

Got up late again today. Very weepy. I think it's the new sleeping pills. I get to sleep eventually but seem to get a rebound effect when I wake up. I've been to the GP again and she told me to try just one of the new tablets instead of the two.

Still not eating. I've had a bowl of cornflakes all day.

Someone came round over sorting out Margaret's will. I know I could probably sort it myself but I signed up with them because I just can't be bothered. I've still got a couple of other things to sort out.

I've also taken the dog for a walk. Not feeling anything at the moment. Was going to get tea from the chippy but don't really feel hungry or like going out. Still feel weak.

[Hubby]

Today's update. One tablet didn't work so I took the second one. Got up around dinner time. Sorted some bank stuff out and contacted counselling service.  A friend came over from Wales so we had a walk round the market. After he left I mowed the lawn. Halfway through it I heard Margaret's voice ask if I wanted an orange juice and I turned to say yes before realising the house was empty. That's when I had my only wail of the day.

My eldest is home now from her trip to York so no empty house. Samaritans rang me again and I had 30 mins on the phone with them. Feel quite calm now.

I know I will have a cry later but not such a bad day so far. 

[Hubby]

Cried last night. 2 sleeping pills. Cried more. Fell asleep at 6. 8 hours sleep. Took dog for walk. Did an hours painting then cried some more.

Now feeling really down. 

No real improvement.

[longedge]

It's not even a month yet is it Hubby? I know it's agony!

Exactly 6 months today for me and I'm still hurting badly and will do so for the forseeable I suppose. Up to now my worst time was from a few days after the funeral for about 3 months. It was then that I started the support group meetings I've spoken about and the people who organise them told us that experience had shown them that it's not until that waypoint that most people can start to benefit. Keep going mate.