It's been no time at all yet, Emzilou. Guilty and heartbroken are par for the course, I'm afraid. This is a slow and difficult journey. Luckily you've found this site early. It will help. I didn't find it until a year after my mum died and like you, didn't have anyone to talk to. I doubt you'll feel like it yet, but my advice is find a way to get out amongst other people before you find yourself slipping into despair. That isn't what your dad would want for you. Find something you enjoy and get out and do it, even if it's just once a week. It will help you forget your troubles for a little while and help you reconnect with life again. You won't be ready yet, but when you do feel ready and before you slip too far down the slippery slope. Always around to chat. Lots of love and virtual hugs. Sandra xx