Hello Emmah88 and welcome.
What a truly sad first post you have made, and my heart goes out to you. I can visualise the empty space you feel right now, and coming to terms with the reality of loosing him has indeed certainly hit you hard from what you say.
Everyone in this group understands the pain you are going through right now, and will be here for you to support you and hold you up when the going gets a little bit too tough to manage by yourself.
Keep posting E, it really helps unload all the pent up stuff that comes with all the stages of a bereavement, and it's such early days for right now so just take baby steps until you heal as time goes by.
I know you can't ever see that happening right now, but I promise you sincerely the dreadful pain you are in right now will get better, and hopefully helped along the way by the caring support you'll find here from our wonderful members we are so blessed with.