Hi
My long term boyfriends mum passed away unexpectedly at the start of this year. For the first month he didn’t seem to react which I put down to having to much to keep him busy after she died and wanting to be strong for his family. Over the last 6-8 weeks or do he’s become increasingly quiet, particularly at home.
If we’re around other people he acts like his old self, I’m presuming to put on a brave face. He tells me he just wants to be left on his own, but will willingly stay late at work or go out with friends every night instead of coming home, which I’m trying not to take personally but feels like he just doesn’t want to be around me/at home. He will interact with other people in the same way he always has (phone, online, text) but will barely communicate with me at all, to the point where quite often I don’t know where he is until he comes home in the little hours of the morning.
When I ask him to talk to me about what he’s feeling he doesn’t seem to be able to tell me, which I can completely understand. He also doesn’t want to speak to his family for fear of being a burden to them or a professional who might be able to help him process what’s going on. He has said he just needs space which I’ve tried to give him but asked that he tries to communicate better just by letting me know he won’t be home until later, but he still will not reciprocate. It seems to be at the stage where he actually wants one of us to move out so he doesn’t need to be around me.
I’m just looking for some advice as to how I can support him. Am I best to let him continue to work through this himself and let him know I’m here or is there anything I can do myself that may help? I may not be able to do anything and it’s up to him to work through this himself but I feel myself becoming increasingly upset and angry at the way he’s treating me when I’m just trying to be supportive.
Any advice would be much appreciated x