Bereaved Parents Wish
I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had him back...
I wish you wouldn't be afraid to
speak my child's name... My child lived and was very important to me. I need to
hear that he was important to you also...
If I cry and get emotional when
you talk about my child I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt
me... My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child,
and you have allowed me to share my grief... I thank you for both...
wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing his pictures,or other
remembrances from your home...
Being a bereaved parent is not contagious,
so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me... I need you now more than ever...
I need diversions,
so I do want to hear about you; but, I also want you to hear about me... I might
be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my
favorite topic of the day...
I know that you think of and pray for me
often... I also know that my child's death pains you, too... I wish you would
let me know those things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months...
These first months are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my
grief will never be over... I will suffer the death of my child until the day I
I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could
understand that I will never fully recover... I will always miss my child, and I
will always grieve that he is dead...
I wish you wouldn't expect me "not
to think about it" or to "be happy." Neither will happen for a very long time,
so don't frustrate yourself...
I don't want to
have a "pity party," but I do wish you would let me grieve... I must hurt before
I can heal...
I wish you understood how my life has shattered... I know
it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable... Please be
as patient with me as I am with you...
When I say "I'm doing okay," I
wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle
I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are
very normal... Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all
to be expected... So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable
Your advice to "take one day at a time" is excellent
advice... However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you
could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a
Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent...
Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off... When I walk
away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone...
wish you understood that grief changes people... When my child died, a big part
of me died with him... I am not the same person I was before my child died, and
I will never be that person again...
I wish very much that you could
understand; understand my loss and my grief, my silence and my tears, my void
and my pain.
BUT I pray daily
that you will NEVER understand.
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